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  • The Archer

You Don't Own Me

I know, I have neglected you all. I would feel bad for leaving you, except I never promised you anything and I am trying to live a life without major responsibilities to tie me down so don't you dare cramp my style.

5 posts in a week? So Archer.

0 posts in two months? Also Archer.

Keep them guessing.

Speaking of The Archer, who is me, and is this blog, Taylor Allison Swift played The Archer during her 44 song 3.25 hour tour. This tour (which I haven't yet attended in person but IYH B'shaah tova very soon) has already watered my crops, filled my cup, changed my life, blew my mind, broke my soul, gotten me pregnant (thanks vigilante shit chair dance) and made me realize that I do not need a relationship: I just need Taylor to tour and release music.

Glad we got that figured out.

I actually wrote an email to my therapist that said "Hi, I wanted to thank you so much for all of your help. Due to Taylor Swift's Eras Tour I am 100% cured and no longer need your services. Please use the money I have paid you over the years to buy tickets to Taylor Swifts Eras Tour for you and your family."

I didn't send it because I have been in therapy long enough to know that if I sent that email we would have to discuss it and it would become a Thing.

But I wanted to!

Before I so rudely left you in the lurch to achieve some career and personal goals of mine, I had gone on fourish dates with someone. He was very memorable which you can tell from the fact that I literally had to look up his name to add him to my Google spreadsheet (for those keeping count he was #62.) I also have no memory of where he was from or where our third and fourth dates occured. No wait, I remembered 3. Four is a mystery.

And it was fine and I wasn't into it but I really gave it a chance which is big for me so as a reward Hashem was like "Illicit Affairs, August, Champagne Problems, the Archer, ATWTMVTV, Cruel Summer, and Karma are in the setlist."

(What mitzvah do I do to get Cornelia Street, Daylight, DBATC, Gold Rush in there?)

I dumped him in the end because he kept correcting me (and like a good girl I said 'you may be right' and then when I got home I went on Google and I WAS RIGHT. This is a phenomenon known as men are garbage) and kept telling me the same things over and over and kept being like you don't do anything at work (which is true but omg rude) and just basically giving me the same vibes as my dad ew. Also was boring.

So, after a quick little break that naturally involved a getaway, I came back to a tidal wave of serotonin. Taylor's tour. Spring Broadway season. Spring baseball season. Spring weather season. Spring book season.

Everything is coming up Archer.

And of course in the two weeks while I was away I got seven shidduch suggestions and I was like great! and then I followed up and they shrunk down to two because life. But I'm too busy living my best life to go on dates anyway. I wish there was a way to just get the content for the blog without wasting my whole evening. Anyone want to go out with me on the Manhattan bus? How about while I grocery shop? Anyone for the waiting room at my endocrinologist?

But content tends to come my way when I'm least expecting it. So I'm going to keep enjoying the rush. See if you can keep up.

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