- The Archer
Writing It Down Was Red (Taylor's Version)
As a good and merciful queen, Taylor Swift is constantly trying to find ways to give us (her subjects) new music to cry to. Today she has released her version (meaning she owns the Master's and all control) of her seminal 2012 album Red. Red was my baby. I listened to Red basically nonstop for 2 years and then nearly constantly for the last 6. Red got me through a lot of really tough stuff, to this day I know in what part of "I Knew You Were Trouble" I'd be parking at my therapist's office when I started at school and began the album when I turned on the car. Then I would cry to All Too Well OBVIOUSLY before going in. So, you could say, All Too Well is the basis of my mental health journey.
Now I get to listen to this album as a person who has actually been in relationships. Not long ones because I'M WORKING ON IT OK but relationships nonetheless. Sometimes Taylor has those lines that just speak to the shidduchim experience. For example...
State of Grace
Love is a ruthless game
Me when I see a guy's profile online and we get imaginary married in my head and then he never responds to my messages
Loving him was like trying to change your mind once you're already flying through the freefall
When you don't like a guy but the shadchan says you should go on 6 or 7 more dates just to be sure
Nothing safe is worth the drive
When your date first picks you up and is merging on to the West Side Highway and doesn't believe in yield signs. I forgot when yield signs became a hashkafic issue.
I Knew You Were Trouble
WHEN YOU'RE DATING JOHN MAYER AND HE IS WORTHLESS GARBAGE
But the saddest fear comes creeping in that you never loved me or her or anyone or anything
Realizing 92% of the people you've ever dated are emotionally stunted
All Too Well (Original)
Maybe I asked for too much
When you want him to have a job, have some observance of G-D, be self aware, and socially on.
It feels like the perfect night for breakfast at midnight
When you go on an 8 PM date for coffee
I Almost Do
And I bet you're sitting in your chair by the window looking out at the city
When you date a guy who owns his own place and you hate him but you want to see the apartment so bad.
We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together
I used to say never say never
Looking back at the dates you went on when you were younger and were like "yes he's ten years my senior and from Azerbijan but I know someone who married a guy that was TOTALLY not her type it can't hurt to try!"
Stay Stay Stay
No one else is gonna love me when I [go] mad mad mad
The original lyric is "get mad mad mad" but I feel this one harder. Me, all the time.
The Last Time
Put my name at the top of your list
Me to every shadchan on Earth
Never looking down
When he realizes your skirt doesn't cover your knees
Sad, Beautiful, Tragic
Good girls hopeful they'll be and long they will wait
The Shidduch crisis
The Lucky One
You've had it figured out since you were in school everybody loves pretty everybody loves cool
Jewish mothers making sure our dating priorities are straight
Everything Has Changed
All my walls stood tall painted blue
When a mechitza builder goes on a date
I met Bobby on the Boardwalk summer of '45
DO NOT INTERACT WITH KENNEDYS THEY ARE CURSED BACK AWAY SLOWLY SO YOU DON'T TRAGICALLY DIE
He always said he didn't get this song
When someone clearly started listening to goyish music 3 days ago. Also, when a guy tries to mansplain despacito to you.
The Moment I Knew
Standing there in my party dress and red lipstick with no one to impress
Going alone to younger siblings' wedding
Come Back...Be Here
I told myself don't get attached
When you've seen one picture and you've already named your children
Girl At Home
Don't look at me you've got a girl at home and everybody knows that
I WOULD NEVER IT'S LITERALLY ABOUT CHILDHOOD CANCER
I know I'm probably better off on my own
Rationalizing my sadness
Lord what will become of me once I've lost my novelty
Turning 23 in Shidduch land
I'm here on the kitchen floor
Breaking up and cleaning for Pesach. Multitasking.
Message in a Bottle
Workdays are endless
I Bet You Think About Me
I don't have to be your shrink to know that you'll never be happy
When you are trying to diagnose your date using your handy pocket DSM
He says it's not just a phase I'm in
When your guy gets into Chasidus.
Go where no one else is
You got married! Yichud room time.
The Very First Night
My friends all say they know everything I'm going through
NO YOU DON'T I'M THE FIRST ONE TO HAVE THESE PROBLEMS EVER
All Too Well 10 Minute Version
They say all's well that ends well but I'm in a new hell every time