Marrying A Queen Doesn't Make You King
Updated: May 10, 2021
Prince Phillip, husband and consort to Her Majesty, Queen Elizabeth II, died at the age of 99 in his home a week and a half ago. I'll always remember where I was when I found out the news-in my bed, trying to go back to sleep after a ray of sun woke me up and instead deciding to just quickly check my phone. My alerts had come through for me and let me know that Phillip's reign had expired. I whispered a Baruch Dayin Emes and a G-D Save The Queen before groaning into my pillow. It was April 9, and I had a long week of feeling rather ill and today was finally the day that Taylor Swift put out her rerecording of Fearless-all meaning that I did not have the emotional wherewithal to deal with a royal death.
But we cannot schedule royal deaths around our bodies spontaneously falling apart, so I paused my celebration of Taylor Swift's album to read more about Phillip's demise. Queen Elizabeth, her 3 children and Andrew, and 7 of eight grandchildren were all in England where they belonged. Harry, of course, was in Canada with Benedict Meghan and would have to fly in for the levaiya. Meghan went to her "doctor" who told her she couldn't fly because of her pregnancy. Yup, I believe that one fully.
The levaiya was scheduled for a week later so that everyone in England could pay their respects on their computers because #rona. It was as pomp and circumstancy as I could have hoped. The coffin was followed by the 3 children and Andrew and then the 3 oldest grandsons, Peter Phillips, William and Harry. If Peter felt as though he was the Berlin Wall, desperately trying to stay up and maintain some semblance of order, he didn't show it. Youngest grandson James Severn did not walk behind the coffin on account of his being only 13 years old.
(Prince Edward may have gotten married latest but he is the only of the three royal children and Andrew who is still on spouse #1. Food for thought....)
Waiting for the Coffin at the Church were
Beatrice and her husband
Eugenie and her husband
Princess Sophie and Lady Louise and James
Zara and Mike Tindall.
Eugenie had baby August about a month ago and she looked great. Zara had baby Lucas about two weeks ago and she looked like a mess which is totally on brand for instagram realness.
Then there was Churchy stuff I didn't understand and they lowered the coffin into the ground to wait for the Queen to die. Which, btw might kill me as well it'll depend how I'm feeling that week.
I think we all have two really obvious questions here
Did Meghan Markle team up with Oprah and John Mulaney to kill Prince Phillip? She has motive, John Mulaney has no alibi for the night of Princess Diana's death and has claimed to be in rehab for months so he could have been working this that whole time and Oprah has the resources.
Did Prince Phillip stay up until midnight on April 9 to hear Fearless (Taylor's Version) and it was so good that his heart stopped?
Both are highly plausible options to me and like with the death of Princess Diana by the hands of Lord Voldemort (if you look up the dates it actually makes a ton of sense) I will never stop wondering.
During the time period before the levaiya, silly reporters who were looking for clicks asked the same question that they always ask whenever Prince Phillip does anything: If he's married to the Queen, shouldn't he be King?
When a man runs a nation he is the King. His wife, is not the ruler of the nation but she is the wife of the ruler and the mother of future rulers so she gets to be one step down from King and be called Queen. Technically, she is not a royal Queen (unless the King married his sister/cousin which happened way too often) she is just a Queen consort.
When a woman rules a nation she is the Queen. Her husband cannot become King because King outranks Queen. Therefore he is simply a consort to the queen and takes whatever titles she chooses to bestow upon him, in this case, Duke of Edinburgh.
Phillip spent a lifetime in support of his wife's noble work of ruling her country. When his wife delivered his son Charles, he was immediately outranked by that tiny infant who will one day become King, while Phillip died a Prince.
Phillip stood in support of something greater than himself, something greater than his own personal feelings. He stood for the continuation of the crown through some of the rockiest periods in history. He sat through the articles and think pieces that always asked the same silly question-why is this man not king?
Sometimes a man marries a woman and the woman has a job to do, whether that job is running the earth or not having a mental breakdown more than once a day. Phillip gave us all an example of what support looks like without losing his status as the man in the relationship. He did not rely on his wife to support his fragile ego. He put aside his own feelings on the matter and supported her in her important work.
A lot of the resumes I get are from men expecting to be supported. They want someone who will take care of them physically, emotionally, and mostly monetarily.
What they don't realize is that marrying a queen doesn't make them king.
I'm a queen. My friends are queens. Some of us will marry kings and move down a rank. Some of us will stay queens and are husbands will be Duke of Edinburghs. Duke of Edinburghs can own their position and be the best support they can be, or they can sulk over not becoming king.
But, at the end of the day, at the Levaiya of Prince Phillip, it was his support he was remembered for, not the fact that he wasn't king. He was there for his Queen, long may she reign, and that's what made all the difference.