Love This Religion

I was sent this story:

"In Israel, suitcases are put in a baggage compartment under the bus. Wherever you put it, inevitably your suitcase ends up somewhere else, sometimes deep into the compartment and you have to climb all the way into the compartment to retrieve it.

Once a Seminary girl had to crawl all the way in to reach her suitcase and the door closed trapping her inside the pitch-black compartment.

Trembling and scared she huddled in the corner and pounded on the compartment to let the driver know she was trapped inside, but to no avail. Compounding the terror, she hears a young man screaming at her.

“Get out, get out -YICHUD”

When the baggage compartment opened on a busy street in Bnei Brak, a crowd appeared on the side of the bus.

Rav Zaid, who happened to be there, went to the front of the crowd. The Seminary girl recognized Rav Zaid from the seminary, so when he asked her why she was so upset, she explained:

“I was going home and stopped to do some shopping. I had placed my suitcase in the bottom compartment and when I went to retrieve it, I had to climb all the way in to get it and the door closed.”

“I am trapped in the baggage compartment and this crazy guy kept screaming “Yichud, Yichud”.

The Rav asked the girl who the guy was and she pointed to the tall guy at the center of another crowd.

The Rav went to the tall bochur and told him “ Are you crazy? Instead of calming her down, you scare her?

“Rav, it was Yichud”

“No, it was not Yichud.”

“It was your first date.”

“Give me your shidduch information.”

The Rav went to the girl, “Give me your shidduch information”

“Why?”

“Because that crazy guy may be your husband.”

She gave her information and the Rav-Shadchan arranged a second date and today they are happily married.

Rav Zaid said he learned a valuable lesson. When she was trapped in the pitch-black darkness in the baggage department, what must she have been thinking? “Why is Hashem doing this to me?” and she does not in the secrets of secrets of the Torah know, “she is there because that’s where her shidduch is”."

I DON'T WANT TO BE CRITICAL OF THIS RELIGION BUT IF THIS IS WHERE THIS RELIGION WANTS ME TO GO I'M GOING TO EMBRACE MY INNER CATHOLIC.

(Catholic because I am excellent at confessing things.)

Imagine these two on an anniversary trip...

Her: Remember when we first met? And you disregarded the unsafe situation we were in to scream yichud like a crazy person? What did you want me to do? Jump out of a moving bus and get run over by oncoming traffic?

Had I done that my skirt probably would have come up and you would be screaming "Ervah" over my dead body. My parents would have arrived sobbing hysterically over the mangled corpse of their child while you fretted about details that truly did not matter in the situation.

Him: As if you don't fret about meaningless details. You think it matters if I turn my pants the right way out before I put them in the hamper

Her: BECAUSE IT DOES MATTER. I spend half of my life turning your damn pants inside out. God, I hate that you make me like this!

Him: Dr. Rubinstein said

Her: Don't talk to me about Dr. Rubinstein I know you have a crush on her

Him: What?

Her: Oh give me a break i see you staring into her eyes when she tells me to use "I" statements. Really? You see every woman as a sex object including our freaking couples therapist. Don't deny it. Left in a dangerous situation and all you can say is Yichud.

Him: We were put there for a reason

Her: G-D is punishing me for how I treated my mother when I was sixteen, I know it.

Their first meeting was him literally terrorizing her but we are all so obsessed with marriage that we are like IT'S A SIGN.

I hate these stories because they mean that when I get on a plane or go to a store or am trying to relax on a bus I can never fully relax because I have to keep my eyes open for my husband or a random guy who might terrorize me. Also, now I live in a building with single guys who all see me walking to/from the gym. I can't decide if it's

bad: because they see me covered in sweat in workout clothes and I'm ugly

good: because they see me covered in sweat in workout clothes and I'm kind of hot

bad: because I'm super hot in my sweatiness and I am creating my own predators

good: because now they think I'm hideous and I won't have to sit through first dates

But should I put myself in insane situations so that I can meet crazy men?

No. Nothing is worth that.

So why send this story to a list of singles? Because the singles need to remember that

1. our opinions do not matter and

2. it is our fault we aren't married

We are not seeking out the right opportunities. We think people are crazy when they act crazy but clearly if Hashem stuck us in this position we need to suck it up and get married. If we don't, Hitler wins, obviously.

So thank you, unnamed organization, for the random advice. I'm going to start cutting elevator cables and see if that gets me closer to the finish line.

The finish line because nothing you will ever achieve in life is as important as locking down a man.