• The Archer

Inching Closer

PLEASE NOTE

This post is going to be inappropriate for sensitive eyeballs. I have tried really hard to resist displaying all my crazy but when I came across this article I could not help myself and had to go all in. You have been warned and the Archer takes zero responsibility for neshama tarnishing.


In the popular publication The Jewish Link an article was posted about shidduchim called "What A Difference An Inch Makes."

The original article can be found here: https://jewishlink.news/features/42524-what-a-difference-an-inch-makes?fbclid=IwAR0DVimiUBtMKllNjZq4HKNTCb51D4gAhTOkTKtI0hLQsmzw0REho2SCxIg


The author describes the heartbreaking scenario of a 24 year old woman, a woman who is basically on the cusp of childlessness, death, and smelling like an old person, who has been set up with an amazing guy. BTW all guys are amazing guys. Amazing is another word for human.


Then there is this sentence describing her issue with this match. I want this sentence tattooed on my lower back as a tribute to excellent journalism: "Whoops, there is just one little problem, so she says. “Yes, I really like the chesed he does, the schools he attended, and he seems to have a lovely family. BUT, it’s just that he needs at least another inch—maybe two inches.”


YOU GUYS.


Someone wrote that sentence and sent it to an editor who edited that sentence who sent it to the layout person who laid out that sentence and then they sent it to the web team who put that sentence on the internet. Being a Jewish publication these all may have been one person but still.


Luckily the article quantifies this statement: "He is shorter than she is, or perhaps he isn’t shorter, but when she needs to wear heels on Shabbat, or if they have a wedding to attend, it would be too embarrassing if it appeared that she is the taller one."

OH. They meant an inch in his body anywhere. Not anywhere specific. Like it could be his legs or his torso or even his neck. Got it.


Because G-D forbid she should attend a wedding not in heels like a heathen or an idolator.


The article continues to make points on why we should not negate shidduchim for physical things like noses or looks, or other tangibles like Yeshivos, jobs, locations etc.


It's a good point to make. Recently a friend told me a boy had ended their relationship because she was missing an inch-an inch of skirt he wanted longer. Sometimes they want it longer sometimes shorter, it's hard to know.


She did not know if she needed an inch or two more, they hadn't gotten that far it was only a second date or so.


Though, having heard this issue from many friends and experienced it myself I propose a compromise: an inch for an inch. We'll give you the inch of skirt (or take it away as the case may be) if you find an inch for us elsewhere.


Wow. What a difference an inch makes!


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