G-D Save Our Gracious Queen

Her Majesty the Queen passed from this earth last week at the age of 96.

She leaves behind four children, 8 grandchildren, and 12 great grandchildren.

Of her children, two are on their second marriage (Charles and Anne) one is on his first (Edward) and one is divorced and disgraced for having participated in the horrors of Jeffrey Epstein's island (Andrew.)

5 of her grandchildren are married, 2 are minors (Louise and James) and 1 (Peter) is divorced.

So, despite the fact that Elizabeth was married for over 70 years and picked a man she seemed to truly love, her children were in large part not blessed with the same success in their relationships.

Perhaps this was because at the end of the day, Elizabeth was only married to Phillip for 4 years. After this, she remained married to him in body but her mind and her soul were wedded to her nation when she was coronated queen after the death of her father King George.

Phillip was her support and her shelter, but her energy was dedicated to the welfare of her people.

This didn't make her a particularly good wife or mother. She was absent at best, though I do believe she tried.

Phillip (as I discuss in my article Marrying a Queen Doesn't Make You King) stayed loyal to the cause that his wife championed and together they guided England into the twenty first century.

Meanwhile her children were all waiting. Charles just got his first job at 73. The other three were all in positions of being overqualified for any position in terms of title and under-qualified in terms of actual experience. Some worked for their mother, doing the simpler royal duties of appearing as patron to various causes throughout the commonwealth.

But until last week, none of them ever truly had a mission and a role. They were just sort of there. Waiting.

I know what that's like.

Waiting for something is awful because you don't know when the waiting will end. You can be next in line at the DMV and then the person in front of you can hold up the place for government attention and suddenly your wait has doubled. You can be in line at the grocery store behind the lady who has four different kinds of food stamps. Or you can be in shidduchim, trying to enjoy yourself, but constantly wondering when it will end and will it be in time for your eggs to still be sunny side up.

And now Charles has inherited the role he knew he would have since his birth. He knew this day would come, and yet he suffered in the waiting. He languished and made terrible choices and hurt his first wife Diana terribly. His choices led to her being in a tunnel in Paris on a terrible night in 1998.

It is possible that Charles could have been a better person had he not spent his life in waiting. After all, are any of us our best selves in line?

The trick is to be your best, even when you are waiting. It's easier said than done. The other trick is to find a purpose even when you are over and under qualified.

Also easier said than done.

Queen Elizabeth wished she could have waited longer and spent more time with her children and learning from her beloved Papa while he ruled and gave her an example of leadership. But she didn't have to wait long at all. Waiting times are either too long or too short.

So you work with the waiting time you have. You try not to languish and not to allow your frustration to hurt others. You prepare, more than it seems anyone else has ever prepared and it isn't fair. You keep miniature goals for right now so you don't lose yourself and hurt others in the process. You throw tantrums and bang your head against the wall and you cry yourself to sleep and you keep going.

You also can't know for sure what your mission is going to be, unless you are the oldest child of a British Monarch. The waiting might be the main part of you, as much as that idea makes you want to go skydiving and forget your parachute.

Now William waits. I believe he is happy waiting and being with his wife and children, especially his son George who will one day be king. I do not believe he craves his father's death.

Our Gracious Queen cared for the wellbeing of others over the wellbeing of herself. Her marriage may have been stronger for it. Her childrens' marriages suffered, because they hadn't bought in to her vision, instead waiting for their own opportunities.

The opportunity may not be yours alone. Stay waiting, stay hopeful, and claim the opportunities when they come.

Rest in peace Queen Elizabeth and may G-D save King Charles.