- The Archer
Break Up With Me (Please!)
Since the advent of the COVID-19 pandemic I have noticed another, similar pandemic within my dating life. That pandemic is called boys ghosting me rather than using the tiny ounce of strength needed to actually break up. Like COVID-19 it can make you not want to leave your house for 8 months and can convince you that the future is empty of hope.
This is for a few reasons. Dating in COVID-19 is more casual than it was in my young and innocent years. I'm meeting more people online through apps without the help of a shadchan. And, even when a shadchan is involved, the first date is often just a phone call or a Zoom session.
But, for some reason, guys think the relaxed nature of the date means they do not have to actually call off the relationship.
I can read signals as well as anyone else. Actually, maybe too well. That might be why I'm blogging instead of preparing dinner for the live young I have created. But anyway, I know when a relationship isn't going anywhere. However, I still expect a text-literally just a text-saying "nice to meet you but I think we want different things."
I don't think this is overly demanding.
Let's look at the numbers (see "Will We Use This In Real Life" to see some other numbers.)
Since March 2020 I have dated 8 guys and had Zooms/phone calls with 5 more.
Of the 8 in person dates:
4 did not bother to break up with me at all Of these, I reached out to 1 to let him know that we didn't need to see each other anymore but that I wished him luck. He responded "LOL." Charming.
2 broke up with me through the Shadchan (mutually.)
1 I broke up with him through the Shadchan (not mutual.)
1 called me to set up another date and I had to explain that we did not need to go on another date.
Of the phone calls:
2 were kind enough to break it off.
3 decided to just go silent.
Now, you don't have to worry about me. I'm not sitting on my fire escape, brushing out my hair and pining for some guy who will never return my calls. I usually move on somewhere between Facebook stalking the guy and the first date.
I'm just low key appalled at the basic lack of courtesy that these guys have.
As I mentioned above, I do have the ability to break things off for myself. In fact, I can do just about anything for myself including throwing out mouse traps with dead mice in them. As Jamie Lee Curtis once put it "I am a strong, independent woman and I don't need a man to complete me." Also, "Halibut! It must be halibut!"
But I also enjoy knowing that, even if these guys aren't for me, that there are quality guys out there. Leaving a girl hanging isn't quality. It shows an innate lack of courage and pervasive laziness that foretell much deeper issues.
It's also why women have had to step up and take on so many rolls that were previously granted to men, including the vice presidency. Many men have fallen into a rut where they cannot muster even the simplest tasks that they are supposed to do. That's why women like me, overly capable and not afraid to step on toes, find themselves alone. I can't be the prey if I'm always the one who's having to do the hunting.