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  • The Archer

Will We Use This In Real Life?

As someone who has been living in "real life" for 8 years, I have a terrible confession:

I have never used the quadratic equation and I have forgotten what it is.

Wow! It felt good to get that off my chest. I would make an excellent Catholic: I have much to confess.

But, in another confession, I will admit that math has actually helped me to extrapolate data about my dating life. In a low point almost a year ago, I began to feel like I was dating less and less and that eventually I would have no offers at all. To combat this, I sat down and made a chart of every guy I ever dated, when I dated them, who set us up, and more details. From this I actually learned that the number of guys I have dated has increased steadily since 2014 when I began. I learned a lot from this chart and I'm going to share the data to either inspire you, terrify you out of your wits, or just entertain you.

Number of boys dated since 2014 (does not include phone/Zoom dates that never led to a real life meeting): 42

Best years for dating: 2019/2020 8 boys each

Where are they from?: 6 Brooklyn, 5 Queens, 4 Baltimore, 3 Miami and the rest assorted

Who is setting me up?:

35% friends

9% Shadchans I knew personally before I went to them as Shadchans

2% Shadchans I know as Shadchans only

47% paid dating services such as Oorah or Saw You At Sinai

7% Random

The moral of this story is why am I spending so much time dealing with shadchans for a staggering 2% return. I don't know where I will be finding my husband which is why I put so much effort in all spheres of the equation but seeing data like this has actually strengthened me-it's been my friends and acquaintances that have been looking out for me all along.

Percentage of guys I have dated who have since gotten married: 28%

To me this says that a lot of the time I am dating guys who are either serial daters or perpetually single. I want this number to go up, it signifies that the men I am dating are not my husband but are of the appropriate emotional stability to be someone else's husband.

Number of guys I dated who married someone I knew: 3

Percentage of times I discovered a guy I dated was engaged and I immediately stalked and judged his Bed Bath and Beyond registry: 100%

Month when I get the most dates: November

Month when 4/5 Twilight movies were released: Also November

Scorpio season: Also November

Month when I get the least dates: June

Month when 1/5 Twilight movies was released: Also June

That movie: Eclipse

Gemini season: Also June

Percentage of relationships where I was rejected: 19%

Percentage of relationships where I dumped them HAHA LOSER: 81%

Percentage of dates that were one and done: 67%

Two and through: 15%

Three and free: 10%

Longer: 8%

As I mentioned in How to Succeed in Dating Without Really Trying you can only learn when you have the data. Make a chart and you'll learn some interesting things about your past. And aren't we all on a journey to the past?

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