• The Archer

36 Questions To Fall In Love

The New York Times published a list of 36 questions that will lead to love. The formula for this is asking the questions in groups of 9 and then staring deep into your partner's eyes. They guarantee you will feel a connection.


I love working smarter rather than harder, and this formula seems like a great way to get where I want without working too hard. A dear reader of mine suggested I edit these questions so that they can appropriately be used by even the most pious Jews. Use the questions below at your own risk-you may fall in love. And even if you do not, remember that Hashem loves you!


1. If you got the opportunity to be hachnasas orchim to any person(s) in the world, alive or awaiting techias hameisim, who would you pick and what color would your tablecloth be? 2. Some people have the added test of becoming famous for something they have done. You should daven that this does not happen to you. but, if you had to be famous what mitzvah would you be famous for? 3. Do you ever rehearse a telephone call before you make it on your Kosher phone to ensure it is tznius? Why? 4. Only Hashem is perfect. Describe a day that was as close to 'perfect' as we can get in this sinful oilam. 5. When did you last sing to yourself? How did you ensure their were no men within 1 square mile before you did so? Talk more about Kol Isha. 6. Imagine you are Sarah Imeinu. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want? 7. Do you think you know how you will die? Why do have such arrogance to assume Hashem's plan? 8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common. Then, name three things you can do to be more tznius around each other. 9. For what in your life do you have the most hakaras hatov? 10. Name 10 things that make your parents tzadikim for kivud av v'aim. Then answer: if you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible. Be sure to spend 3.5 minutes on how you picked your seminary. 12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be? Make sure to say Modeh Ani when you wake up 13. If a navi could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know? 14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? Why is it growing in your bitachon? 15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life? 16. What do you value most in a tznius friendship? 17. What is your most treasured memory? 18. What is your most terrible memory? No Loshon Hara please. 19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Tell us about your teshuva. 20. What does friendship mean to you? 21. What roles do love and affection play in your life? How would you like to remove these from your life in order to be more tzenuah? 22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items. Please do this in the format of Dayeinu.

23. How close and warm is your family? Name the top five mitzvos you saw your parents do. 24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother? Which of the imahos does your mother most resemble? 25. Make three true “we” statements each. For example "We love Hashem because..." 26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share ... “ and then let your partner know if you mish on pesach. 27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know. Then tell your partner you will not be his friend because he is an exalted man and instead you will worship him as an underling. 28. Tell your partner what you like about them and why those traits make you materialistic. 29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life, such as when you forgot to count the omer. 30. When did you last cry in front of another person? Which part of Yom Kippur davening was it? 31. Tell your partner something that you liked about them from their shidduch resume. 32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about? Name 613 things.

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet? Please say viduy just in case. 34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and sefarim, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. Why would you choose to not save anything other than sefarim? 35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? What is the most disturbing part of techias hamasim? 36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Take the advice of your partner because he is a man and is therefore better at life than you are.

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