• The Archer

2020: Love Isn't Dead!

Updated: Jan 19, 2021

Friends, the end of the most miserable year of our existence is upon us and before we can move forward, it is time for a glance backwards to see what happened.


According to my trusty spreadsheet entitled "To All The Boys I've Loved Before" here are my dating statistics for 2020:


This year I dated 11 guys, my highest number ever, due to my new policy of using men to get free dinner.


Those boys had an average compatibility rating of 5.18 out of 10, with 10 being the highest and 2 being the lowest.


I did not date any boys between February 15 and May 15.


My best month was November with 4 first dates.


As far as I know (and I do a lot of Bed Bath and Beyond stalking) none of the guys I dated this year are married yet. The guy with whom I closed out 2019 got engaged and married during Corona.


Only once (that I know of) did a guy have to kick me out of his car mid-date because he had seemingly pooped his pants. I'm proud of keeping that number low.


I went to 1 in person speed dating event, 1 virtual Shadchan meet and greet, and 1 virtual speed dating event.


I had about 5 Zoom dates that didn't make the sheet because they were so unremarkable and forgettable.


6 of my dates were from professional dating services. 2 (the highest and lowest rated dates actually) were from people who knew me. 2 were from Shadchans. 1 was from a stranger who stalked me on the internet.


This year I also traveled to new places, read some phenomenal books, heard great music, floated down the river a few times, and got 365 days older.


I started this dating blog that is helping me to shed some light on my struggles, give others a bit of hope, and feed my insatiable need for attention.


I learned love isn't dead. I learned this from finding out that I could manage to live with everything that had mattered to me taken away. I learned this from gymnasts who went to the gym even when the Olympics were in jeopardy. I learned this from seeing a few of my remaining single friends find their person. I learned this from strangers who complimented me on the street and from rereading the Harry Potters.


But mostly I learned it the other day in the square on 72 street where I waited for my gym class to begin as I had arrived too early. I was reading on my phone and eating a cookie when a man tapped me on the shoulder and pointed to his phone. On it, he had a picture of the signing alphabet. "Ah" I realized, "this man is deaf." So naturally, since I was blessed with 12 years of private school education and 4 years of college I used all of my intellect to


SPEAK LOUDER LIKE AN IDIOT.


I quickly realized my mistake and began to enunciate my words so he could read my lips.







I was wearing a mask.


DO I NOT HAVE ANY BRAIN CELLS LEFT?

He was signing furiously and I was trying to get out of the terribly awkward situation by CONTINUING TO TALK TO HIM FROM BEHIND MY MASK. I wanted to walk away because I figured he wanted money or sex and I don't have either of those. Maybe I should start asking people in the park for some. Anyway, he wrote a note on his phone: "Hi, how are you?" I continued to respond BY TALKING BEHIND A MASK. WHO IS THE REAL IMPAIRED PERSON HERE??? I finally shook my head at him and darted across the street as the light had changed. He followed me, and, realizing that I may not be as smart as I look, began to break out the elementary sign language.


He pointed to himself.

He made a heart.

He pointed to me.


I finally realized THE MASK and pulled it down to say "You are sweet but I'm taken." and he disappeared into the crowds of New York. Little did he know, I'm only taken by G-D.


I left with a happy feeling in my heart. Someone out there loves me! Me! Worse comes to worse I could learn sign language and he could learn how to deal with an idiot and we could be together.


There is hope out there guys. Even for the most archy Archers.


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